While We're Alive
by teamfreewill82
Summary: So... yeah. That happened, everyone. It really did, we weren't all dreaming some twisted messed up garbage. RAY PALMER KISSED OUR FELICITY. So I wrote this after that because it was either that or throw up some feels onto the floor rather than this here computer... Yeah. Please read for well deserved Olicity. Live on, shippers. Live on.


**Disclaimer: I own this show not, or anything related to **_**Arrow**_**. **Unfortunately. Because how AMAZING would my life be if I somehow owned Stephen Amell? Not in a weird way Okay I'm Felicity now. 3, 2, 1…

**A/N:** OKAY. Written approximately five minutes after the premiere of _Arrow_, s3ep7- _Draw Back Your Bow_. Because I can't explain to you how messed up I am about this episode. Honestly. Imagine Ray HADN'T been there, and Oliver had spoken with Felicity. Love all around, kids, wouldn't you agree?

He could do this. He had to. If he waited any longer he thought he might explode. She wanted him like he wanted her and it was enough. Dig was right. She wouldn't wait around forever; she was too good for that. He had to tell her. If he didn't, he didn't think he would be able to live with the weight of his regret.

The elevator doors of his former company – it still felt like a dagger in his heart to think it – slid open at a painfully slow pace, and yet his heart seemed ready to implode upon itself at the rate it was beating. But the physical and mental pain of not being with her topped the anxiety coming from _finally_ – blissfully, mercifully – telling her. Telling her that he needed her. That he loved her and more than half the time couldn't force his mind onto any other matter at hand. Admitting that before he went to sleep each night it was her face that slipped into his mind, into his dreams, despite all his failed attempts to let it go. To let _her_ go.

It killed him to be away from her. Kissing her had felt more real than anything he had felt in such a long time… he'd been dying waiting to feel that again. And now he had his chance. If she would take him, that is.

He wanted to pause, to take a breath, but his legs kept on propelling him towards the glass doors, towards her. Would she still be dressed up from her da- dinner? God; she must've looked beautiful. He approached the office and rested his hand on her door handle. This was it. Was he actually letting himself do this?

"Oliver?" her voice spoke out. She was seated at her desk – his _former_ one... – and appearing bewildered. Slowly, she was rising to her feet, her eyes wide behind her glasses. _Had she worn those for dinner?_ he wondered_. Probably not. For special occasions she wears her contacts… _"Oliver," she repeated. He should probably go in now. He opened the door and tried to smile calmly, though he thought it might have come forth as more of a tight-lipped grimace.

"Hi," he greeted her, albeit stiffly. She blinked once. "Hi." It came out as more of a question, and he stepped forward, by some miracle. "Um, how was dinner?" he inquired. "It… it was nice. Really nice. I think I really helped out," she told him. "Good." She nodded, her painted lips pressed together. "Yeah." There was another moment of silence before he took another step and they simultaneously spoke. "What're you doing here?" she asked, while he said her name. She smiled awkwardly, he as well. _Get a damn grip_. But she was wearing a stunning blue dress that accentuated _everything_ and a diamond necklace, and her hair was tied up just so- "I- I wanted to talk. To you. Do you have a second?" She nodded. "'Course. Is… something wrong?"

_Oh, nothing, not at all. But you heard what I said to stupid Cupid and think I can never be with you. Because I've said so more than once, in more than one way. And I was wrong. So, so, so stupidly wrong. _"No, no. Just… I made a mistake," he said. Her eyebrows lifted. "Is that so?"

"Yes. One I've regretted for days now. Felicity..." He breathed out, his eyes dropping to stare at the paneling of the desk. "I don't like getting close to people. I think it's better and safer for them to stay away. For their sakes, and my own. But I've realized that…" He looked to her. "I've realized that pushing people away is useless. Because if they really want to get in, they will. No matter what I do. Like you have."

She stood straighter, glancing briefly from the floor to him. "Oliver-" He held up a hand. "Please. Please let me finish." She nodded. "The way I feel about you, Felicity… It's not like anything I've ever felt before. Not being with you makes me so angry I… I almost scare myself. And being with you scares me so much too that I've tried to keep my distance but I know now, thanks to both you and John and… and everyone I've lost…" The images of Shado, and Sara, and Slade flickered through his mind and Oliver had to glance at the floor and breathe. "I know now that life is short. I've had so many lucky breaks. I should be dead." Once more, she opened her mouth to speak. He shook his head. "It's true. And being alone or not…" He lifted his hands and dropped them back to his sides. "It doesn't mean anything. It hasn't made me less careful any time I've been with anyone. It's the opposite. It gives me something to live for. And you… you are it for me, Felicity."

She toyed with her hands, not wanting to look away but unable to keep her gaze steady on him as he approached her, cautiously. "I know I've made mistakes. I know you're probably scared I'll leave you when things get hard or dangerous. But I _promise you_, Felicity..." He stopped in front of her, his eyes focused only on her own. "I could never do that. Not again. Because living without you has made me realize how much I need you, how much you mean to me." He searched her eyes, willing them to see he meant every word he was saying, with all he was. "I love you." She closed her eyes, unable to believe her ears. Maybe she was asleep, back at her apartment, and this was a twisted dream set up by the cruel, cruel universe…

"Please say something," he said. What was that look on her face? Disgust? Shock? Love? He felt sick. She tried to breathe normally. "Never in a million years would I ever have thought- believed- that Oliver Queen would walk into a ginormous office – belonging to _me_ – to proclaim his undying love for me," she managed. "But now that he has… you're sure?" He tilted his head. "Sure?"

"About me. You said you were but… I know you, Oliver. You're true and honest but… you're always cautious and run from commitments like this 'because of the life you lead'," she quoted him. He looked away, licking his lips briefly. Saying that would be the bane of his existence wouldn't it? "I don't want to fall in head first only to have you realize that this was a stupid idea because you get scared-"

He kissed her. She just kept talking and it was killing him to wait another second. Much like the first time, he held her face in his hands, the hands of the killer she had made him see to be those of a hero. And this time, he hoped she wouldn't walk away from him. Because he sure as hell wasn't. "The only thing I'm scared about losing," he murmured, pressing his forehead to hers and looking into her eyes, "is you. I can't do it again. I know that our lives our complicated. I know that everyone dies eventually and I can accept it. But we might as well be together while we're alive."

_**Fin. **_

**A/N:** Now, I know I haven't updated anything in a- well, long while, and I get that. But life is hard, people. I'm working on another cross-over right now (hint hint- SPN and Arrow cuz YOLOOOOOOO) and Elena has yet to be updated as of the 24th, I believe, of October. And I know you probably hate me. But forgive me, brethren, for _Arrow_ has taken my time and sucked it dry. Along with my hopeful heart. ANYWAY, I hope y'all enjoyed this fic cuz my heart was beatin' so fast last night I nearly flipped a table. Like I thought Oliver was going to. Again, such a Felicity. Please review, because as you know they are equivalent to love for us fanfictioners. *smiley face


End file.
